‘It’s so hard when you live interstate. Mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s last year & her confusion had gotten much worse since we saw her last Easter.

It had got to the point where Dad was doing pretty much everything around the house. He’d even given up going to bowls & woodworking in the shed because he was so busy looking after Mum and keeping the house running. He couldn’t really leave her on her own anymore. Although he never complained about it I know he must have missed his bowls because he used to love it so much.

By the time we visited at Christmas, Dad seemed really tired and Mum was snapping at him all the time for ‘taking over’ when she was trying to do things. I could see her point but he meant well and was obviously just so tired. I really felt for them both. The night before we left I talked with them about getting someone to come in to help with things around the house to take the pressure off, and they agreed to trial it for a few weeks. Dad had seen an Independent Life brochure at the chemist so he suggested I call them. Their Service Manager came to the house and Mum & Dad talked with her about the kind of help they wanted. After that Mary started coming every Monday and Thursday for a few hours in the afternoon.

On Mondays Mary and Mum do the grocery shopping. Mum loves it because Mary doesn’t mind her taking her time to choose things. She still likes to be involved even though she gets confused. They go for a cup of tea afterwards and look through the latest gardening magazine and talk about what should be planted with what and how to keep weeds out without spraying etc. I know because I get the stories about what ‘Mary plants with her spinach to stop the bugs coming!’. Dad is back at bowls on one of Mary’s afternoons and is really enjoying himself again. I think it helps him cope so I’m thrilled that he can go again.

On Thursdays Mary does some housework & cooks a meal for dinner that night with enough leftover to freeze extra meals so that Dad doesn’t have to cook every night. Aside from giving Dad a break from cooking, Mum loves it because Mary puts in the extra time to help her cook rather than just doing it for her. She feels like she’s looking after Dad again just like she always has.

It’s still hard to be so far away and not able to help them day to day but at least this way I know Mary is there to do what I would if I was there. It just puts my mind at rest to know that she calls in on them regularly and that if I’m ever concerned I can give the people at Independent Life a call.’